Hearing your Clients.

As a doula, my job description includes many many areas if expertise. One of the most important things that I am required to do is provide custom care to each mother based on her individual wants and needs. Many times it's hard not to project my ideal birth experience onto my clients. After all of my research and all of the birth's I've attended, I have in my mind this idealistic beautiful birth that I want for every client. Simply because I want good things for them. If someone comes to me and says, "I want a natural childbirth," I automatically have my preferences for them. But what that looks like is different for every mother. The birth climate in our state is not the best as far as "outcomes," but it is what it is. Every woman has her world view, her expectations, her desires, and her comfort zone when it comes to planning her birth experience. My job is to help families achieve a positive birth experience and have confidence in the choices they made along the way, not to force my ideal birth experience onto them. My job is to hear my client, and know where she is coming from. Understand her. Understand where she is now, and where she wants to be. An important skill I have to master during every conversation with clients, is listening. When I shut my mouth and let moms and dads talk, it really makes a difference during the birth experience. When I've heard and understood what they've said, let it resonate for a few months, and prayed about their words; I can truly be of service during a birth. Then she has the birth experience that fits her and her personality, instead of my ideal birth experience which is best for me.

Even though birth is doing something very physiologically similar in every mother that experiences, just as each experience is similar, they are different. Birth is about so much more than the physical experiences we endure. This is a rite of passage that makes mothers. As doulas we should treat this experience delicately, and allow each mother the freedom to birth her own way.